Professional Tools

It's natural (especially as one approaches A Certain Age) to want to be involved in the world of babies, even if one feels that it is not yet the right time for one to have one's own children. At times like these, becoming a market maker is the natural solution.

Unfortunately, such a course has been difficult and fraught with complications... until now! It was this dilemma (and opportunity!) which has inspired us to create BabyTrader(tm), a complete suite of tools for the professional infant trader and arbitrageur.

Feel the excitement and watch prices go up and down in real-time as supply and demand shift! Take positions in Eritreya as conflict causes prices to plummet, then unload your stock in Japan as the craze for dark skin finds a firm toehold on that Imperial isle. Have your computer notify you automatically when a competitor is holding aging goods, and decide in real-time whether or not now is the right time for you to step in and be a knight in shining armor to a mob of unruly French peasant kids!

BabyTrader(tm) version 1.5.1 is now available for Macintosh only at a deeply-discounted price of $599 per seat. Serious inquiries only, please. (Price does not include monthly data subscriptions or exchange fees. Requires active Internet connection.) Fill out our order form today online!